24 with Munkay

Sunday, November 28, 2005

Somewhere between 5:51 and 6:07 a.m.
My Bed

"GET OFF ME DAMN YOU." Let me sleep. Wait what time is it? Do I have to be awake yet? No. Not yet. I need to remember to lock my bedroom door so that @!$% cat can't get in.

Somewhere between 7:01 and 7:04 a.m.
Standing in my kitchen watching my cup of tea spin in the microwave over my range top. Hair up in a Pebbles pony tail on top of my head. Dressed in purple smiling piggy jammies. Thinking.

Man, trick jumping Hubbys company truck with the boat on the trailer while Collin Powell rode shot gun seemed so real. Wonder why we wanted to get into that castle so bad. How did we know there was corned beef inside?

Somewhere between 7:49 and 8:10 a.m.
Sitting at my computer, cross legged, still in purple pj's with smiling pigs. Trying not to laugh out loud to wake up family, or make any noise for that matter.

Wishing my teacup was bigger. Then I wouldn't need to stop to go all the way back into the kitchen. Tea thermos, that's what I need. And a diaper.

In between 9:00 and 9:20 a.m.
Standing in front of bathroom mirror. Counter a mess, clothes on the floor.

"Hairrrrrarugh! Just do what I want." I should shave my head. Yes, when I have more time I'm gonna shave this head. Then will I have to polish my scalp every day instead? And shave too? Will I have to use makeup on my shaven scalp to cover any zits and razor burn? Now in bad funk quandary.

Between 10:00 and 10:01
Standing in my laundry room picking metal b-b's out of the bottom of the washing machine while singing the lyrics to White Stripes, "My Door Bell". Thinking.

It's 9:00 good. No it's 10:00 No, 10:00 Rats, I have thirty minutes till go time.

Somewhere between 10:50 and 11:05
Highway 8 heading west.

"What the hell? Why is every one honking at me? When will they be done with this road construction already? Shit! When did they close this lane? Ya ya honk all you want there back hoe boy I'm not going any farther. Want to play chicken huh? Huh? I'm turning . I'm turning."

Somewhere between 11:49 and 12:01
Between the kitchen and dining room.

"Hey Quint!" Get out of my way you fat ass. "Tonight is prime rib and walleye." Move. You would be faster to jump over than walk around. "You fix the oven yet? I need ovens for prime rib. Why do I never see a tool in this maintenance man's hand. "Sure. Must be rough pulling a double." Never seen him carry a tool once. "Grab the door for me there will ya?" (Yes this is all I remember of the conversation as Quint is not much of a conversationalist. Yeah he likes to talk but all I hear is bla- bla- bla.)

Between 1:01 and 1:2o
In the dining room after lunch for our guests is over.

I'm soo gonna eat. I'm going to eat for the rest of the afternoon. Food foody food food. I love food. Asparagus is my favorite food in the world. No wait. I love this salad. Best thing I've ever tasted. No the asparagus with the salad. "HI Will! Of course you can sit and eat with me." Darn now I can not eat like the pig I really am. "I didn't know you were here this weekend!" Do I have anything on my face? "Yeah that's what I think about the new building too." Oh I'm just a stupid parrot. "Ha-ha-ha! Oh Will!" Crap, did he see that fly out of my mouth? "Tell me about your big weekend then?" Look at that hair will you. I would love to run my fingers through that hair of his. I'd even wash the French dressing off my hands first.

Somewhere between 2:04 and and 2:13
Standing in the kitchen chopping and talking to Carl the morning chef

"No, my friends parents invented their own turtle broom and they patented it and made enough to set themselves up comfortable so now they are working on a much bigger environmentally friendly way of life to improve the welfare of every one. It was a goal that some would of just retired on but they had a bigger picture in mind. No way. Your friend invented a self cleaning one hitter? Really? That make the Q-tip and pipe cleaner industry upset? What did he buy with his money, more drugs? A pimp car? Ha- ha ha."

Between 2:55 and 3:03
Cornered by the coffee machine. Talking to a guest.

"Let me get this straight. No orange vegetables. No flour. No red meat. Except after you train, then late. Fat free dairy. No MSG, unless it is spicy. Anything else?" Hope you like the taste of spit.

3:56 and 4:07
In the freezer. To myself again.

Swollen? Ooh. I wonder if I should see a Dr? Damn. Oww. Maybe a chiropractor. Damn trigger finger. I need a hook.

Somewhere between 4:59 and 5:09
Looking off the deck towards the sunset.

"Wow Chris ! You are right!That is beautiful. I've never seen one this time of year either. What caused that? Lake effect? OK, I gotta go back to frying the crunchy unknowns now."

Between 6:00 and 6:03
By the carving station. (I cannot disclose whom this was with.)

"Jim Morrison huh? Are you sure that is not just a legend? I mean he is Jim Morrison. I would go for him over the othersmyself. Even if he was just a gherkin. No that doesn't make you gay. I don't think. I mean he is Jim Morrison."

Between 7:59 and 7:10
In the hallway by the dry storage room. Talking to Chris.

"No you need to double bag the bodies before you throw them on the cart and haul them out to the dumptster. They moved the dumpster cuze of the new buildings so you need to take more precautions now."

Between 8:00 and 8:25
Walking up my porch steps.

Just open the door and stand here for a minuet or two. That way who ever is hiding behind the door will get sick of waiting for me and pop out and I can scare them. "Helloo? Boys! I'm home! Walking into a quiet house. I walk throw the kitchen to hang up my jacket in the laundry room and,"BOOGIE-BOOGIE MOM!!!!!!" They waited to jump out at my from the laundry room. I had thought they were upstairs. The coat that was flung in surprise and never did get hung up.

9:00 and 9:23
My living room floor.

Leg wrestling with K1 and K2 to see who would get the the last of the Hagen Daaz. K2 is a cheat and an ice cream oinker.

Between 9:50 and 10:10
Reading "The Di Vinci Code" and talking to Hubby while eating nachos made with jalapino pepper cheese. Curled up in the leather chair.

"Ya interesting but far from real. Based on some brilliant stuff. Des Moines? How soon? Let me guess. Another casino?"

Between 11:07 and I dunno.
My bed. Thinking.

This feels soo good. I've been waiting all day for this. Wish I could make this feeling last longer. I'm gonna stay awake just to enjoy this warm soft...zzzzzzz....

Majorie Rebarcheck is Coming for Dinner

The cranberry salad was always on the table on Thanksgiving without exception. That was our tradition. Mom got the recipe for it from our neighbor, Marjorie Rebarcheck.

Marjorie, like my mom was a stay at home farm wife. I do not remember Majorie ever having time to visit our house, the Rebarchecks ran a dairy farm and work was plenty and spare time short. Their five girls were all older than I, but I delighted in playing in their big barn with the numerous cats when we bought milk from them. Every year one of the girls would bring over a cake on my birthday. Marjorie, quite a wonderful cook, never forgot and always made the time to bake me a cake. My birthday being in January, my cake would always arrive frozen solid from the quarter mile hike between farms.

Marjories salad for our tame palate was edgy. That's why we loved it.

The salad officially became The Majorie Rebarcheck Cranberry Salad, the year my mom submited her friends recipe to be published in the community cookbook. Mom waited for the book to be published before taking Majorie a copy of the book. Majorie now had more time for visiting with as she was sick and dying of cancer.

Marjorie smiled at mom and said,"Mm, looks like a good recipe. I'll have to try it some time."

Mom had imortilized her friend for something she had never made.


Majorie Rebarcheck Salad

1 can jellied cranberry sauce
1 Tablespoon lemon juice
1 3 ounce package cream cheese, softened
3/4 cup salad dressing
1/4 powdered sugar
1 teaspoon grated orange peel
1/2 walnuts chopped
1 cup whipped cream

In a food processor mix cranberry jelly with lemon juice. Pour into jello mold. Combine cream cheese, salad dressing, sugar, orange peel, and nuts. Fold in whipped cream. Pour this layer into cranberry mixture and freeze. Let stand 10 minutes before unmolding.

Happy THanksgiving.

Petroglyphs Under My Bed

The morning light that pours through the window on my left illuminate the canvas as The Killers crone softly anti-militarism sentiment while I work. Mixing the oils are the most satisfying detail in my project. When I achieve the exact shade of French ultramarine blue, my canvas will welcome its color graciously. This is my time. The house has not yet awoken, and I am alone in my pajamas.

I hear his tread on the stairs and stiffen. I do not look forward to his interruption and wish I had packed up my supplies and finished for the day already. But it is too late now. I automatically invert to my defensive mode and my hard shell goes up to protect me from his immanent jabs. I am sorry, the blue had been such a vibrant hue.

"Good morning. What are you doing up already?"
"Morning. I'm painting."
"I thought you put all that away."
"I had. But now it is time to paint again."
"Ugh."

The edge of my brush swipes the cadium barium red. It is such a strong color it instantly evolves my palate into mud. I have to start again.

"I made coffee . It's over on the counter."
"See now why can't you stick with cooking. Something practical that you are good at. Then I'd be eating a full breakfast right now."
"This IS practical."

I have a wild boars in my bathroom.

"How is that practical?"
"I like doing it."
"What is it anyway?"
"It's my idea of a kind of Vassy Kandinsky."
"Sure. What's that then? Polish for a mess?"
"No, Kandinsky was a modernism impressionist. Quite famous. Modern being up to the 1940's that is."

He dribbles the hot coffee from his cup down my back as he stands behind me unaware of his actions. No matter how much I mix, I cannot get my blue shade back right.

"He was famous for a bunch of eyes then, was he?"
"If you see eyes, then you are paranoid. Or just need watching yourself."
"You call that art, crazy girl?"

There are blueberrys in our unfinished sauna.

"You planning on hanging that in here? Your not going to hang that in here are you?"
I hear the anxiety in his voice. Has an cardium barium orange tinge to it.

"No. It is a gift. A housewarming present for my Sis. Practical art."

"Good. I wouldn't want to go to all the work of bringing in my elk head from the polebarn again." I can tell he is glad to have dodged this oil bullet.

When he is mad at me, the big old ugly stinky deer head comes in the house and is hung on the wall. I accidentally dip my brush into my own tea cup to clean, instead of the turpentine, and give up on my thoughts of blue. With a new brush, I pick up my viridian green. and paint straight from the tube. My sister will like it. Green is her favorite color.

"You know, if you want to paint something, why not a dog? My dog Clyde would make a pretty picture."

The Vikings that hang over our mantel is the only painting he likes and will let me display. The focal point in the picture is the worrier that I made resemble him.

"If you want to see more Clyde, just look down."
"He would make a great picture. Hang a dead duck in his mouth..."

There are northern lights in my grandmothers immigrant trunk.

"Yuck. Might was well take snap shots of road kill."
"I would hang a picture of Clyde over my desk in my office."

I once told my girlfriend he is my worst critique to my face but he brags of my so called ability to our friends. "It's better than him lying to your face and talking trash behind your back", she told me. She was dead on.

"Or paint one of our cows. Imortilize Wooly Bully on canvas long after we have eaten his last hamburger."

There is a male torso behind my Christmas dress in the closet.

"Why don't you go out and feed Wooly Bully right now before I decide to paint your ass a nice black and blue?"
"Good thing you have two hands there Munkay, cuse if you had to paint with your brush in that filthy mouth..."
"I'd be painting dead animals."

"You want me to make a pretty frame for that? I have some great weathered barnboards I could knock out a really nice frame with?"

"Barnboards are too early American to fit with modernism. No. But thanks."
"Ok then. I'll make the frame and you paint the cows playing poker."

Warm zinc yellow is hard to get out of hair. But it's a nice happy color.

Back By Three

sorry if I was bogarting your memory today
I just needed a little fun
cuse me if I stole you away
I yearn for time redone
dance with me one more song
oh yeah come on lets dance
the music plays just for us again
do it while we have the chance
I feel the beat and you next to me
the party's just begun
summer's replaced the winter
we are enjoying our time in the sun
green grass carpets our oyster world
our laughter the only sound
give me five minutes more
before I come around
twilight has fallen
the crickets and my heart began to sing
the stars appearing on our horizon
you were my everything
this is how I remember you
you lift me when I'm blue
I'll leave you now
like I did so long ago
but I'll visit now and then

Todd the boy I fell in love with in the second grade and the man I love today .

All Todd's referred to are fictional unless stated otherwise. If questioned by my hubby, Todd never existed. Todd is just a name I pulled out of thin air. And besides, I had not yet met my hubby. There is a grandfather clause in love.

POW!

I have spent the entire weekend fighting with my hubby. What a silly useless waste of time. I should have just killed him Friday.

Thoughts of an Ex Chub Chub

Sometimes the size of my body will cause me vivid worry. When I lay in bed at night, and my bones rub sharply together for lack of flesh, I know I should eat more. I feel like a sinew bone snake, who will bloat into a deformity if I feed. But the sense of power and self control far out weigh my hunger.

Doggie Genesis

In the beginning there was Runner, and Runner was good. But his master was to build new temples in the nations to the south, leaving Runner to be exiled to the matriarch in the north. Runner lain with Sparky and was fertile. So Og the dog was brought into the kingdom. Og was an unruly one, causing much dismay and unrest, but in time Runner was blessed with Og's seed, begetting Homey, Goldy, and Spare Dog. Goldy stayed behind in the north, but Homey, (Can we take a puppy home? Can we, can we take one home?) and Spare Dog journeyed back to the homeland in the south. Much exalting with two puppy's occurred. Spare Dog went to guard some strangers land. Homey ruled for many years. In time Og was executed during a war with a bordering neighbor. Clyde Da Mutn Da Hunt was his royal paper carrying successor. Clyde and Homey lived a peaceful life but their existent caused jealousy in the queen of the household to then brought Bailey into the house. She then proclaimed the sheepdog Bailey to be blind and appointed herself the official seeing eye person. Bailey lived to a ripe smelly old age, and a great sadness swept the land when he passed. Homey lost the, Homey vrs Goliath car battle, and a darkness ensued the kingdom. Clyde has lead a long and prosperous life, but one with out descendants, praise to the holy vets scalpel. There is talk in the land of the coming of a new dog. But hear me, I will smote any that dare bring another living thing unto my kingdom. Let it be said, let it be done.

My Soul For a Good Box of Peanut Brittle

They appeared on the top shelf of my cupboard some time ago. The box surprised me, but I get at least one every year. They just now surface earlier in the season. I just try to pretend I don't see them there.
I told my Hubby the first year we were together, that my Dad would always buy my Mum a box of chocolate covered cherries for Christmas. Dad got the idea to to this because my Grampa had always bought my Mum chocolate covered cherries. It was tradition.
When guests would come over, the box of candy would be passed around. Being a diabetic, I was excluded from sampling this seasonal treat. In my wiser years I asked my mother why she would share her gift and not eat them for herself. "I hate chocolate covered cherries", was Mum's answer. "I always have." She was just too polite to point that out to her family.
My Hubby and I were out shopping that first year together, and I went into a severe hypo-glycemic shock. Hubby hurriedly bought a couple boxes of cherries and managed to get me out into his truck in the parking lot, where he fed me candy until my blood sugar returned to normal, and I could walk and talk corherantly once again. The candy saved me from unconsciousness.
Now I get boxes of that crap every year as soon as they start appearing in the stores. Any one want to come over for some coffee and cherries?

Live Another Day

Come nightfall fall,
this is no fun at all
I haven't seen a movement
my limbs are cold and stiff
I'm beyond discouragement.

Come nightfall fall
I want to unload this heavy rifle
and start the long walk back home
my boys are asleep besides me
their soft snores the only sound I hear

Come nightfall fall
I am not afraid of the dark wilderness
we will have our winters food regardless
Sun, give me a reason to put down this gun
I promise we will both be back tomorrow.


Not only will the deer live another day, but another year. The only deer seen while I was holding my rifle, was by my oldest son, K1, who promptly and loudly yelled, "LOOK MOM-A DEER!!" The deer did however come out in droves as we drove away, causing us to swerve the jeep numerous times to avoid hitting them on the highway. The only time my kids were even close to keeping still and quiet was when they were sleeping. Nothing like sitting for an entire day freezing to appreciate a good drive thru burger.

How to Be a Man

"Your What?"
"I'm going up north hunting."
"With the kids?"
"Yes, I told you all this before, remember?"
"You plan on pulling the boys out of school and taking them with you?"
"Yes, thats the plan."
"For a whole week?"
"No- just however long it takes."
"I don't know about this. You didn't ask me."
"Yes. I did. Many times. You wanna go with us? You are more than welcome."
"What about Thursday night. You know the tutor comes Thursday night."
"Not this Thursday. I've already cancilled Joyce."
"The hell. What about K1's gutar lession."
"Not this week It's M.E.A."
"Well, you need a licence. Ever think about that?"
"This is not the first time I have ever hunted you know. You should get a lience and go too."
"Where are you going to stay? Or where you just heading for the bush?"
"American Inn in town. They have a pool for the kids."
"They are probley full already with hunters."
"Want my comfermation number jerk?"
"Well it wouldn't be the first time you just took off without thinking."
"What gun will you use- got it ready?"
"30 ot 6"
"You never even asked me about this. You just do what you want."
"Remember when I told you I was putting in for vacation during hunting season? See this written across the calendar?"
"Shut up. You just better hunt safe. Don't go blowing your fool head off. Or the kids."
"I am soo going to bag a huge buck. Gut it myself. Roll around in the blood. Howl like an animal."
"Got your warm blaze orange hunting clothes packed?"
"Yes."
"How about K1 and K2, got clothes for them too?"
"Yes, someone has to teach them to be a man."
"Good luck Munkay, wish I was going."
"I can bring home the bacon, pow pow pow pow, fry it up in the pan...."


written at the american inn at the border- where it is snowing heavily and there is no spell check